swtbug

Damn it! I don't have any computer at home and lately my workplace have taken the laptop from me due to some fucked up system! And my dad Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr he gave his laptop to his wife daughter No not his daughter! It's another men daugther!

Anyways that is the mean reason why I haven't blogged but what the hack, don't bother about that and let me fill my sarrow and hopes in here from the past four days!

On 14th I wen't to Abbas to do the prayer for daddy! I felt ridicals doing it infornt of people but I had to just to get my dad cured!.

On 15th I asked dad 2 give me any of his cars! He refused saying that he will use both of them! Yeah Right!

It's been ages since I ate well, I just have one meal a day and I drink lots of water YET I'm not shitting anymore and hardly do I pee ! On top of that I don't think am losing any weight and it's not that I dont wanna eat but I tottally don't feel like doing so!

I always wonder how does a person reduce his wieght if he is not eating and not excerising?! Is it by sweat or shitting or peeing! If you know share it with me *plz*

Geeees I hate working in here it drives me nuts! Every1 has a closed mind and I wish if god made them with a closed mouth too!

Man this whole problem am in really sucks, am suppose to go for studies in May and still dad didnt make up his mind yet !

But I have hopes in the prayer session I had and hid on 14th of april! I just had this weird dream 2day that kinda shows evil will fail.

I'll write about it soon enough for now gotta do something for the template !

Why do I always fight with every1 ? And why do I always say yes when it's NO I hear in me! Isn't this strange! My sister keeps on saying that I don't have an attitude not a strong one! I know what I have been through in my life made me the way I am now and I told her thats why am like this!.

But she looked me in the eye with this surprised look and said "What you have been through would make any1 strong and secure not weak like you are now!"

*Sighhhh* I don't know why am weak seriously, I need a total attitude makeover but I have tried for years and I can't!

I do trust myself though and I believe in me big time. But I can’t protect myself cos any tinny shit hurts me so bad.

That’s why I have a bad relationship with dad and mom; I can't forget their wrongs nor can raise their good deeds cos they haven’t got much into my account!

Am I evil, not really diary? I love mom and dad but I know mother loves me a bit and dad’s heart doesn’t beat for me no more!

I guess the world has bigger problems then mine; I can’t even enjoy reading the daily newspaper without reading those war and hunger issues!

Am way better then a lot of others out there and seriously am happy like this!

I'm getting so messed up in my brains with this working issue over here. Since that everything is on my head now I feel like losing my brains and if I ever did so then it's going to be for my own goodness.

My boss sucks in her English and since early morning she is calling me to ask me the spelling of this and that but hack am sick of this, it's okay for me to help others but sometimes things get TOO MUCH!

I want to resign and go studying aboard; I don't wanna be stick here forever. And I also want to learn how to say no when yes is what they all got use to hearing!

I really want to take some days off but there is no any web developer in this shity company except me so guess I gotta work my ass out but I need HOLIDAYS!

Working too much and too hard makes me go insane! It's normal for me to talk to myself but me getting pimples in my head just cos of the stress I'm into!

Imagine me with pimples *Screaming & Crying loud!* I want to be back to normal way normal!

Diary, My ex couldn't keep his ass away from me now could he? He wrote me a silly email yesterday blaming the shit out of me for being drunk the other day and he just said that am out from his friendship. I replied it with a long one explains all of his crappy attitude and I guess I did well!

I don't need people judging on me, it’s enough that god will do that and am aware of my mistakes and I have a great deal on what I have done. Therefore I have learned my mistake and am not willing to let others mess my mind with it.